Saturday, February 12, 2022

Second Snippet from My New Sci-Fi Romance

 


Welcome to another Sunday with Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday. Sample the work of a new author. Read snippets of stories in different genres.

I’m continuing with snippets from my new science fiction romance story. Based on last week’s comments I have made some changes. In particular, I mulled over Jean Walker’s comment that she found the name ‘Yazzie” distracting. I decided to keep the Navajo name for the heroine’s deceased husband, and change the name of his spaceship. The spaceship is now called the Star Condor to reflect his heritage without suggesting a big ego. The previous name reflected ‘Chanur’s Pride’, the name of a spaceship in a book with the same name by CJ Cherryh. You’ll understand the reference better once you meet the male lead in my story.

You can read last week’s snippet at https://auroraspringer.blogspot.com/2022/02/snippet-from-sci-fi-adventure-and.html

This excerpt continues in the perspective of Josie Yazzie. She and her engineer are standing by her spaceship. I’ve cut a couple of paragraphs from the current draft.

The roar of a spacecraft descending onto the adjacent field penetrated her reverie. The once-bustling spaceport at Eagles Landing had grown quieter after the local economy had gone into a nosedive. The emperor’s space fleet had blocked the major hyperspace routes to the inner systems and throttled trade for the independent planets outside the major sectors. Jim had not lived long enough to experience the slowdown. Nor had her father.

After Jim’s death, she had worked the star lanes for a couple of years until she learned of her father’s illness. She had felt obliged to return to the family home. Lucius Navarre was not the easiest man to live with, however, she was the only relative with the freedom to manage his medical needs and run the household during his final months. His death had come as a relief after the agonizing decline in his mental and physical health.

Nine lines and some more.

“Will we be making a long voyage, Captain Josie?” Butch asked.

His polite reference to her status made her smile. “We’ll fly to the planet of Wick’s Paradise. I promised to deliver an old vase to Aunt Gabrielle. It’s one of my dad’s weird bequests. My aunt’s invited me to stay for a week or two.” She shrugged. “After that, I’m not sure. Maybe Hokkaido. My sister’s always begging me to visit her.”

I’ll be happy to reply to your comments. 

Please return to http://wewriwa.blogspot.com/ to sample the works of the other writers.

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23 comments:

  1. I have a feeling they will end up having quite the adventure wherever they end up.

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  2. Backstory and current issues nicely wound together to give the story solid purchase as it move on. I really like her character.

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  4. Adventure - and possibly romance - awaits.
    Tweeted.

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  5. It's very easy to picture the scene. Nicely written.
    Tweeted the post.

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  6. I'm sure adventure beckons. Nice excerpt.

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  7. Waiting for the adventures to begin ;)

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  8. Glad you didn't mind my comment about the ship's name! I like the new one you've selected. I was sure, knowing the power of your world building, that there was a solid backstory for the original name but this new one is excellent. Enjoyed the snippet - I'm getting immersed in the world and I like it.

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  9. You've given us a nice grounding for her character. It makes her very likeable. I hope her adventures will be fun and not too scary! Tweeted.

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  10. Enjoyed the read. Adventures ahead!

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  11. She's had loss and recovered. She did her duty by her father and now she's ready to move on. Adventures ahead.

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  12. And a fathers bequest always leads to an adventure.

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  13. Nice summary without being an info dump. I love the touch of delivering the vase -- makes it seem so real.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks. It's the little details that make a story seem authentic.

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