Welcome to another
Sunday with Weekend Writing
Warriors and Snippet
Sunday. Sample the work of a
new author. Read snippets of stories in different genres.
I’m continuing with snippets
from my new science fiction romance story. Based on last week’s comments I have
made some changes. In particular, I mulled over Jean Walker’s comment that she
found the name ‘Yazzie” distracting. I decided to keep the Navajo name for the
heroine’s deceased husband, and change the name of his spaceship. The spaceship
is now called the Star Condor to reflect his heritage without suggesting a big
ego. The previous name reflected ‘Chanur’s Pride’, the name of a spaceship in a
book with the same name by CJ Cherryh. You’ll understand the reference better once
you meet the male lead in my story.
You can read last week’s
snippet at https://auroraspringer.blogspot.com/2022/02/snippet-from-sci-fi-adventure-and.html
This
excerpt continues in the perspective of Josie Yazzie. She and her engineer are
standing by her spaceship. I’ve cut a couple of paragraphs from the current
draft.
The roar of a spacecraft
descending onto the adjacent field penetrated her reverie. The once-bustling
spaceport at Eagles Landing had grown quieter after the local economy had gone
into a nosedive. The emperor’s space fleet had blocked the major hyperspace
routes to the inner systems and throttled trade for the independent planets
outside the major sectors. Jim had not lived long enough to experience the
slowdown. Nor had her father.
After Jim’s death, she had worked the star lanes for a couple of years until she learned of her father’s illness. She had felt obliged to return to the family home. Lucius Navarre was not the easiest man to live with, however, she was the only relative with the freedom to manage his medical needs and run the household during his final months. His death had come as a relief after the agonizing decline in his mental and physical health.
Nine lines and some more.
“Will we be making a long voyage,
Captain Josie?” Butch asked.
His polite reference to her status made her smile. “We’ll fly to the planet of Wick’s Paradise. I promised to deliver an old vase to Aunt Gabrielle. It’s one of my dad’s weird bequests. My aunt’s invited me to stay for a week or two.” She shrugged. “After that, I’m not sure. Maybe Hokkaido. My sister’s always begging me to visit her.”
I’ll
be happy to reply to your comments.
Please
return to http://wewriwa.blogspot.com/ to sample the works of
the other writers.
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I have a feeling they will end up having quite the adventure wherever they end up.
ReplyDeleteOf course. And, she'll find a new love.
DeleteBackstory and current issues nicely wound together to give the story solid purchase as it move on. I really like her character.
ReplyDeleteI'm pleased you like Josie.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteAdventure - and possibly romance - awaits.
ReplyDeleteTweeted.
Absolutely. This love story has a gothic vibe.
DeleteIt's very easy to picture the scene. Nicely written.
ReplyDeleteTweeted the post.
Thank you.
DeleteI'm sure adventure beckons. Nice excerpt.
ReplyDeleteAdventure and romance.
DeleteWaiting for the adventures to begin ;)
ReplyDeleteGlad you didn't mind my comment about the ship's name! I like the new one you've selected. I was sure, knowing the power of your world building, that there was a solid backstory for the original name but this new one is excellent. Enjoyed the snippet - I'm getting immersed in the world and I like it.
ReplyDeleteGreat! The backstory emerges while I'm writing.
DeleteYou've given us a nice grounding for her character. It makes her very likeable. I hope her adventures will be fun and not too scary! Tweeted.
ReplyDeleteThe story has a gothic vibe - mildly scary.
DeleteEnjoyed the read. Adventures ahead!
ReplyDeleteShe's had loss and recovered. She did her duty by her father and now she's ready to move on. Adventures ahead.
ReplyDeleteCorrect.
DeleteAnd a fathers bequest always leads to an adventure.
ReplyDeleteIt does, and in this case, also love.
DeleteNice summary without being an info dump. I love the touch of delivering the vase -- makes it seem so real.
ReplyDeleteThanks. It's the little details that make a story seem authentic.
Delete