Welcome to another
Sunday with Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday. Sample
the work of a new author. Read snippets of stories in different genres.
I’m continuing with
snippets from my new science fiction novella. I’ll get to the romance part
soon, but for now, the heroine, Josie, is still on her home planet.
You can read last week’s
snippet at https://auroraspringer.blogspot.com/2022/02/second-snippet-from-my-new-sci-fi.html
This week, I’ve skipped to the next chapter. Josie and Butch are standing by her spaceship, the Star Condor. It’s the day before they are scheduled to depart and all the provisions are on board. Note, this is still an early version and subject to change.
A yell caught Josie’s attention
and she pivoted around.
Drin was running across the heat-hazed
airfield toward them, yelling and waving. A pack bounced on his back and his
cap was tilted askew.
“What’s up with him?” Butch said.
“Thought he had a date for tonight.”
Josie was silent; an itch of
foreboding had replaced the pleasant anticipation of her voyage.
Panting for breath, Drin skidded to a stop in front of her. A lanky young man of indeterminant origin, Drin’s mathematical acuity and long dexterous fingers gave him mastery of com systems. His eyes were a startling blue against his ebon complexion. At this moment, his fingers clutched the straps of his pack and his eyes popped in excitement.
Ten lines plus a little more:
He gasped, “Heard the news?”
“Tell us,” she demanded.
“Message just came in. Omalu’s
fallen to the Emperor’s forces. His fleet is two jumps away from Saffeen.”
“Bad news,” Josie said. “But,
we’ll be leaving tomorrow.”
“Gets worse,” Drin continued. “I’ve
been snooping on the local coms. Governor’s ordered conscription of all
spacecraft for defense. When I saw that order, I grabbed my gear and raced to
the Condor.”
Butch asked quietly, “What’ll we
do?”
She swiveled to face the Star
Condor and aimed her forefinger at the sky. “We’re flying. Pronto.”
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Uh oh! They'd better be quick or their plans are ruined!
ReplyDeleteJust a little incentive to leave the planet!
DeleteYep. I'd be heading for the sky in a jiffy! Nice writing!
ReplyDeleteThanks. Josie can be decisive, although not about everything.
DeleteUh - faster than Pronto. Get out of there.
ReplyDeleteTweeted.
It's fast enough. The official message hasn't yet reached the ship.
DeleteNice to have a head's up. Here's hoping they can avoid getting caught in any crossfire.
ReplyDeleteWell, the space fleet is two hyperspace jumps away. It won't arrive instantaneously.
DeleteThey'd better get in the air quick. Since this is still in progress, I found the description of Drin to be a distraction from the action. Maybe you could slip in some of it in later, a couple of thoughts at a time. Just my opinion.
ReplyDeleteThanks, I'll look into it.
DeleteFly now for sure! Exciting development and I like the way you build the tension as Drin delivers the news. Great snippet.
ReplyDeleteYep. Better get going. Nice tension build.
ReplyDeleteThanks. Just a little push to send her flying.
DeleteAnd I wonder if they are going to get away without a struggle. Lots of potential conflict here. Great snippet! Tweeted.
ReplyDeleteThanks. There will be various struggles ahead.
DeleteI think I'd run too. If not she may not have the ship for long.
ReplyDeleteExactly her idea!
DeleteI tried to go to this week's - Feb 27 - post but got page not found.
ReplyDelete