Saturday, September 30, 2017

Cruel barb - Snippet from Europa for #WeWriWa #SciFi

Welcome to another Sunday with Weekend Writing Warriors. Meet writers in various genres and read 8-10 sentence snippets of their stories.

I’m posting snippets from my WIP set on Jupiter’s moon, Europa.

Current Tag line: What alien creatures lurk under the ice crust of Europa?

I have skipped several lines. Now, Nikki and three survivors from the crashed space ferry are traveling to Europa in a lifepod. Based on Ed’s comment, this snippet gives some of Nikki’s backstory. Next week, I may give you a glimpse of the hero.   
Any suggestions for improvement are appreciated.
Please excuse my irregular punctuation to fit into 10 sentences.

Switching to a safer topic, Nikki grumbled, “I wanted a peaceful life studying the alien organisms in the oceans. Now, we don’t know when we’ll be able to dive, and we might have lost the frikking lab equipment.” 
“Don’t you even care about people?” Alita wailed. “Is nothing more important than your research?”
Roy spoke up, “Calm down, Alita; can’t you see that Nikki’s only trying to distract us?” 
“She doesn’t have a missing partner,” Alita sniffed.
“I care,” Nikki muttered though clenched teeth. The accusation rankled. Her friend had unconsciously delivered a crueler barb than she intended. Alita had never met Simon. In the three years since his death, Nikki believed she had worked through her grief, although she had deliberately shunned intimate liaisons on the voyage.



Blurb
Dr. Nikki Bell’s plan to discover intelligent life in the oceans of Europa hits a rocky start when her spaceship crashes on the icy surface. Seconds before she blacks out, she spies a man’s face in the water beneath the ice. When she wakes on the submarine Station, nobody believes her story. Convinced the mysterious stranger saved her life, Nikki searches for him while she explores the ocean and its alien inhabitants. 
Kiron Arqin Ramis chose exile as a Watcher on a remote outpost to redeem his family’s honor. He never expected to find an attractive Earther woman close to death. He violates the prime policy by rescuing her. Despite suffering the penalty, he strives to warn her about his hostile leaders.
Nikki’s second meeting with Kiron triggers a chain of disasters in Europa’s perilous oceans. Can they overcome deadly aquatic predators and their people’s antagonism to forge a new alliance?   
          Book 1 in a new SciFi series, Taxyon Space.

As always, I’ll be happy to reply to your comments.

Please return to www.wewriwa.com to sample the works of the other writers. 

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26 comments:

  1. Great show of the tension they all are feeling at that moment!

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  2. Ouch! The clenching of Nikki's jaw shows how much Alita's comment hurt.

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  3. Sometimes "caring" means pushing your feelings down and focusing on what has to be done.

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    1. Indeed, Nikki is good at suppressing her feelings.

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  4. Very revealing scene on many emotional levels. Nikki needs to let more of hers surface. Nice snippet, Aurora!

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  5. Great undercurrent here, driving reactions and overreactions. Good bit of tension in this snippet, Aurora!

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  6. Very dramatic, tense snippet. It must be so hard for Nikki to control her emotions, trying to keep everyone calm and being given a reminder of her own grief in this way.

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    1. I think she is used to damping her emotions. She will break down much later in the story.

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  7. I can't wait to read this one...another excellent excerpt, and very believable that she's trying to distract them, kind of inappropriately, by talking about the work and also has her own painful memories of loss...yup, these characters seem very 'real'!

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement. I plan to put it on pre-order soon.

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  8. Love how your characters come alive. I feel like I can see them and feel their emotions.

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    1. That's great - just what I want to hear.

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  9. Very tense. Lots of drama. Good scene.

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  10. I know Alita's hurting, but others are hurting (and have hurt), too. I can understand how Nikki would bury her grief in her work. Good showing emotions.

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  11. Good way to introduce Alita's wound.

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  12. I don't think anything Nikki could say would please Alita at this moment. So many emotions.

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    1. I agree with your assessment. Nikki does not tell Alita about her loss until later in the book.

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