Saturday, September 3, 2016

Ain't that golden! Snippet from Starrella Falls for #WeWriWa #Superheroes

Welcome to another Sunday with Weekend Writing Warriors. Writers in different genres showcase their stories with 8-10 sentences. Join the fun and read our snippets.

I’m continuing the scene from: Starrella Falls, Book 2 in the Secret Supers. You can read the first chapters HERE.

Background: The wanted murderer, Croaker, attacks Estelle and Toby knocks him out. Mark and Diane arrive in his car and Mark offers to take Croaker to the police station. I skipped the part where they searched him and removed a gun and poison darts. After loading their prisoner in Mark’s car, Mark asks Toby to look after the girls.
The final sentence was: “My pleasure!” Toby grinned.

Rockette cooed in Estelle’s mind, “Growler told me to follow the car and tell you where’s it’s going; I’ll be a shadow pigeon.
Be careful!” Estelle warned. 
As Mark drove off, Toby swaggered to the girls and drawled, “Hope you don’t mind the walk. Can’t fit both of you gals on my bike.”
Estelle giggled.
Diane frowned at the departing sedan, “Sheesh, he’s done it again! Mark’s skipping out and ditching me.” She groaned, “Bet he wants the reward.”   
“Ain’t that golden!” Toby sounded amused. “Hope he don’t regret it.”

 Starrella Falls

Buy Links for Starrella Falls

 Super Starrella

Buy Links for Book 1, Super Starrella (Only 99c)

You can also check out the 99c/99p specials: >100 Science Fiction & Fantasy eBooks - Sept 3-4th at http://pattyjansen.com/promo/

 Promo

As always, I’ll be happy to reply to your comments.

Please return to www.wewriwa.com to sample the works of the other writers. 

36 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Sounds like that happens to Diane too often. Though Mark may regret it, as Toby suggests, if Croaker wakes. Nice snippet!

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    1. It happened once before. Mark skipped a date with Diane when the villain attacked at the end of book 1.

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  3. Thanks for the explanation about the previous time when Mark stood up Diane. It helps!

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  4. I hope Mark doesn't regret leaving Diane behind... Gotta say, something about Toby rubs me the wrong way. Great snippet!

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    1. Toby acts cocky and runs a street gang as cover for his superhero work. Estelle has learned most of his secrets by now.

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  5. Huh, so Mark has a habit of doing this. Good thing Rockette is following!

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    1. Yes, Toby has things under control, mostly.

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  6. Something tells me that Mark might come to regret it, and that having Rockette follow the car may prove to be useful.

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    1. Of course! And Rockette likes to be in the middle of the action.

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  7. Diane definitely seems to have Mark's number. And I think Toby is hilarious. Great snippet!

    ~Joyce Scarbrough

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    1. Thanks! You'll like next week's snippet too.

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  8. I had to read this several times. There are eight character names mentioned in nine sentences, four characters actually part of the scene. Probably, if I'd been reading the story from the beginning and knew all the characters and the story, it wouldn't be an issue, but for such a short excerpt, it was a lot to sort out. If not for your intro, I would have been lost.

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    1. Sorry, I should have explained about Rockette and Growler. They are both nearby, unknown to Mark and Diane. These snippets can be tricky to select.

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  10. Hmmm... Toby's last line makes me wonder if he has the same concerns I do about Mark and Croaker. I'm just not trusting Mark and I'm glad that Rockette is following him.

    (Deleted my previous comment because I changed it in midstream and forgot to fix the beginning of it.)

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    1. Yes, you are correct. Toby has indirectly told Rockette to follow Mark's sedan.

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  11. Diane at least knows Mark and his habit to leave. Great banter and insight to the characters.

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    1. Thanks! Toby and Estelle are suspicious of his motive too.

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  12. I love the way you differentiate among the characters by using different ways of speaking. Its very well done.

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  13. Good, somebody is following the car! I don't trust Mark. Great snippet!

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  14. Loved the dialogue! Great writing!

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  15. interesting dialgoue between all of them ....

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    1. Yes, multiple exchanges and some telepathic. Hope it's not too confusing.

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  16. Is it just me or does something suddenly seem...off with Toby? I got warning bells by his easy banter all of a sudden. I'm glad Rockette is following Mark though, sounds like a safe bet and you can't be too careful.

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    1. Toby can be dangerous. His banter may be a cover for his secrets.

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  17. I'm taking that Mark is not much of a team player, not sure how comfortable I feel about that.

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    1. He's in army intelligence and that tells you where his priority lies.

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