Saturday, August 5, 2017

Blasted bad timing - snippet for #WeWriWa #SciFi #amwriting


Welcome to another Sunday with Weekend Writing Warriors. Meet writers in various genres and read 8-10 sentence snippets of their stories.

Okay, I’m biting the bullet and offering a snippet from my WIP. It’s at 53k words and I’m editing. Among other things, I have to deal with killing off one minor character and rewriting him out of later scenes. This story has several deaths.

Current Tag line: What alien creatures lurk under the ice crust of Europa?
See NASA's artist's concept of the setting.  


Here is the beginning of my story. It’s not a final version and any suggestions will be especially appreciated. [Note, slightly irregular punctuation to fit.]

The Solar Spirit shuddered, slamming Nikki onto the steel floor of the passage.
Alarms wailed; red lights flashed warnings.
Biting back a scream, Nikki scrambled onto her feet. A second jolt tipped the floor into an awkward angle. Her boots lifted from the tilted floor and she spun slowly in midair. Styx; the ship’s artificial gravity had failed. What next? No life support? She groaned inwardly; what blasted bad timing. The Solar Spirit had begun decelerating and she had expected to reach Europa in less than two days.

Sorry - no cover yet. 

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As always, I’ll be happy to reply to your comments.
Please return to www.wewriwa.com to sample the works of the other writers.


24 comments:

  1. What an intense scene. I wonder what is in store for Nikki next.

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    1. Well, they say you should start in the middle of the action.

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  2. Wow - intense ... well done.

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  3. The scene immediately grabs you. Love the internal dialogue to establish Nikki's character and predicament. Great beginning, Aurora.

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  4. Oh wow! INtense scene. I'm intrigued by everything going on.

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  5. Dramatic start for sure, can't wait to keep reading. Terrific snippet!

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  6. Great, strong beginning. I love it when we're placed right in the middle of the action from the first sentence!

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    1. Thank you. I just need to make the middle parts strong!

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  7. This opening is strongly reminiscent of the opening of my Escapee, which I posted today. One thing I wondered about: it seems to me that losing your life support would elicit a stronger comment than 'bad timing', because there's no good time for that to happen.

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    1. Oh - I haven't seen your snippet yet.
      The ship hasn't lost life support yet, but I'll think about a stronger response from her.

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  8. Intense scene. I hope she finds something to hang onto before gravity is restored. Otherwise, ouch!

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  9. What an intense scene! Great imagery.

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  10. Never ask "What next?" or "What else could go wrong?" The answer is invariably one you don't like.

    Nice action scene. Can't wait to find out what caused the malfunction.

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