Welcome to another Sunday
with Weekend Writing Warriors.
Meet writers in various genres and read 8-10 sentence snippets of their
stories.
Okay,
I’m biting the bullet and offering snippets from my WIP. It’s at 56k words and
I’m editing. Among other things, I have to deal with killing off one minor
character and rewriting him out of later scenes. This story has several deaths.
Current Tag line: What alien creatures lurk under the ice
crust of Europa?
Here
are the next few lines of Chapter one. Dr. Nikki Bell is traveling to Europa to
study the alien life in the ocean.
It’s
not a final version and any suggestions will be especially appreciated.
You
can read last week’s snippet here: https://auroraspringer.blogspot.com/2017/08/blasted-bad-timing-snippet-for-wewriwa.html
Her arms flailing for a
grip, Nikki struggled to catch hold of the handrail. Her emergency training
kicked in. Primed by drills every third day of the voyage, she knew what to do.
She dived for the nearest oxygen canister. Working one handed while grasping
the rail, she fastened the mask around her mouth and nose. Her mind cleared,
clicking into logical mode. The spaceship was damaged, possibly hit by a stray
asteroid on the outer fringes of the belt.
Heavy partitions clanged shut,
separating the damaged sections of the ship. The nearer set slammed closed, and
a second, fainter clunk, sounded in the opposite direction. Her section was
isolated from the rest of the ship.
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As
always, I’ll be happy to reply to your comments.
Yikes! It's a good thing she's trained for situations like this. :)
ReplyDeleteShe'll fall into some situations where she has no training.
DeleteWhat a tense and potentially dangerous situation - but she seems to have everything under control!
ReplyDeleteShe has a lot of self-control.
DeleteI love this dilemma -- and her preparedness for it. This is kind of the sci fi equivalent of being between a rock and a hard place.
ReplyDeleteExactly - he has a lot of rocky place to negotiate in this story.
DeleteOops not a good situation to be in. But I liked the way she so well prepared for it.
ReplyDeleteGah, so intense, but it looks like she has it handled!
ReplyDeleteSo far!
DeleteDangerous situation to be in. I'm curious to see how it will play out.
ReplyDeleteSlowly!
DeleteI'm not so sure that her section being isolated from the rest of the ship is necessarily a good thing.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'd like to extend my condolences on having to write out a minor character. I have a novel that's been sitting on the back burner for years because I can't figure out how to erase a character and still keep something important that she was involved in. Good luck!
Thank you. It is a tedious process.
DeleteGreat details in this scene. I was right there with her. The doors slamming shut sounds pretty ominous.
ReplyDeleteThanks - that is my intention. Start with a bang.
DeleteYou certainly start out with a bang! Wow! Excellent description of the situation, her training, yet you kept the frightening aspects. Great beginning.
ReplyDeleteGood thing she's staying so calm and relying on her training (so far anyway). Quite the tense situation! Enjoyed the excerpt and can't wait for more...
ReplyDeleteThanks. She is not usually emotional.
DeleteQuick thinking. She's obviously used to dealing with crises.
ReplyDeleteShe's well drilled.
Delete